:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
