ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
