isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize