what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
