my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
