have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
