so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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