Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize