i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
