do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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