he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize