Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
