I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize