Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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