I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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