Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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