Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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