There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
