part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
