Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
