your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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