We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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