My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
