What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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