so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize