He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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