HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
