ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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