Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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