New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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