you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize