Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
