you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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