I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
