how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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