I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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