if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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