I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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