my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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