K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We have started to decorate penises.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
