not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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