Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
