We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
