Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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