yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
