I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
