i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
