matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
