So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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