ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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