I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
