She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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