I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
