Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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