I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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