ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
