that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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