hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
