she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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