Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
