drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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