hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
