She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
