At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
