just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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