its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
